Pantsing, planning and NaNoWriMo

This is how I feel, two days before the end of NaNoWriMo.

It's been a challenge, and I'm 12,500 words from the end. I probably won't win, but I'm okay with that. I have a new story that probably wouldn't have happened if I hadn't taken part - I'd have been stuck in a never-ending rewriting/editing rut.

I'm posting today for a bit of a rant... a rant against myself!

I'm a pantser. Always have been. It's not the best way to write, I amble around and spend three years trying to figure out the story I'm telling. Pah. Rubbish. Especially as I then spend another three years rewriting, then giving up and hiding it in a drawer, then pulling it out again.

One new novel every ten years is slow, to say the least.

When I decided to do NaNo this year, I had a week to prepare and thought I might do a bit of plotting. In itself, it didn't go too badly, although the story keeps shifting, new characters are appearing and others have vanished off the page. The beach has been a constant feature, my MC's failing art career has stuck too - although she's still nameless - and there's a shadowy character that might be a dead sister, memory of her mother or a childhood imaginary friend.

And then there's X - the real subject of my rant.

X is also nameless. He started off as my MCs female flatmate, turned into her male fiance and - as of the very early hours of this morning - is her student lodger who bakes chocolate cake. At one point he/she was going to accompany MC on a lengthy road trip, but now the trip has taken a backseat and might just be one night in a Premier Inn to break up the trip to the beach. So much for planning!

It was a good experiment, though - I've realised I can neither pants or plot effectively, so I guess I'll just bumble along as I always have, but with the knowledge that bumbling really is the best way forward 😔

How is/was NaNoWriMo for you?

Are you a regular participant, or was this your first time?

What advice would you offer to me?

A few changes, maybe

I've had a busy week - I think this is the longest I've managed to sit down since last Sunday, so I'm making the most of it by catching up on blog reading.

A work colleague broke his nose last weekend, so I covered a few extra hours which threw out my gym training completely; and I met up with a couple of different friends for a hot chocolate, so I've severely overdosed on sugar and feeling a bit jittery.

However, I kept to schedule on my NaNoWriMo writing, although I might be a little behind now because of some other tasks I've set myself. Yesterday I felt I was just putting random words down, feeling completely bored with the story, and not knowing where it was going. All the ideas I had where either too similar to something I've written before, or too similar to something I've read recently.

But then last night, as I was falling asleep (oh, my writing muse really picks her time!), I had a bit of an epiphany, which I'll attempt to map out this afternoon.

On top of all that, on Friday I had a chat with a consultant-type person about online marketing and promotion. The good news is that what I do is pretty good. The bad news is... all the stuff I don't yet do. So, that's my latest job,

It may mean some changes to my blog, but I don't know yet.

It may mean some changes to how I present myself, but I don't fully know that either yet.

Well, that's that, then... (A NaNo confession)

I've just signed up to this year's NaNoWriMo event.

It's possible I've gone completely mad!

I'm not sure what happened. I came home from work this afternoon, made a cup of tea, checked my emails, signed up.

Okay, that's not strictly true - I've been considering it for a while, but coming up with some really very good reasons not to: I've got a two day course to go on for work in November, the kids will need me to be available for specific reasons in November, I'm already booking up my days off with hot chocolate dates with friends, I'm going to be an aunt and will want to see lots of the new baby.

But, there are some compelling reasons to give it a go:

1. I'm staring at a novel that's just been rejected and wondering what to do with it - I'm not happy with it, but it's been through so many incarnations at this point, I've forgotten what the original point was.
2. Because I've been working on the same novel for most of the year, I think I've forgotten how to write something new. I have no ideas, no characters, nothing even remotely like a plan, plot or vision.
3. I've recently turned my 2012 attempt into a short story that's out on submission - even if I don't win, I might be able to salvage something useful.
4. It's a really good excuse to be lavished with chocolate. I don't drink coffee, so I have to get my caffeine from somewhere, don't I?

So, who's with me? Who's already signed up? Who's thinking about it?

Is chocolate a good enough reason?
Do you have any advice for me?

Another musical guest post

I'm really excited to be featured on Roz Morris's Undercover Soundtrack today. It's a fantastic series looking at how music has influenced the way a writer approaches their novel.

Being different, and not the author of a published novel yet, my post features the songs that inspired my short stories - each of my books gets a mention, so they don't feel left out.

I hope you enjoy reading more about me. I suggest making yourself a hot chocolate to drink while you read it, that's what I'm going to do!

Puts down pen and sighs...

... looks up and sees that it's October!

(I'm cheating with the photos - Hubby's just taken them for me on his walk with Artoo, while I write this, still in my dressing gown!)


About a month ago, I started writing and revising four stories for four very different short story competitions - one flash, one with a huge first prize, one with awesome additional publicity benefits and one with huge prestige.

It was brilliant to work on such a variety of different projects, and a relief to finish one and start the next. The flash was so hard because it was only 300 hundred words, and then I immediately set out to turn a 50,000 word NaNo project from years ago into a 5,000 word short story. I think it worked. I hope it did.

I love sending out submissions. I like the blank space that remains when the email has vanished. I sit and stare for a second, then I gather up all the notes and drafts for that project and file them away - and swap in the next thing.

I wrote a to-do list!

I don't do it often, but in August I wrote a to-do list, and last week I found it. Are you interested? Okay, here it is...

1. Re-start my mailing list. It may surprise some of you to know that you're signed up to my mailing list, because I don't actually ever send it out. My goal was to resurrect it and make it fun. I have not done this... yet.
2. Write or redraft two stories. Boom - wrote four!
3. Work through all my old stories to submit them by the end of the year. Obviously, this is a follow-on from the previous point, but it makes sense, because I have a lot hanging around, and it's fun to re-work something to give it new life.
4. Buy more bloggers books and review them. I realised that I love finding new reviews on Goodreads and Amazon, and figured my blogger friends love it too. So I've been doing this - slowly, but hopefully more when I get into the swing of it.
5. Figure out what to do with my novel. I've submitted a particular novel to many agents, and no one likes it. I love it. Some beta readers said very nice things about it. I'm not going to give up on it, but I haven't figured out my next move yet.

Do you have a to-do list? How's it looking?

Are you getting prepared for autumn?

No story goes to waste

Having fun on Seaton Beach, Cornwall with Artoo

After working hard on You. I. Us. and turning a novella into a novel for most of this year, I'm now looking back at some of my older stories and wondering if I can create something amazing out of them.

I do this on a fairly regular basis, with various levels of success. One of the stories from You. I. Us. - Redemption - was based on a story I wrote around 1997. The actual story bore no resemblance by the end of the re-write, but it kick-started me, and allowed me to tell the story I'd wanted to initially. Sometimes I find my own improvements as a writer enable past stories to be revitalised in a way that I could never imagine.

I'm currently attempting this process with two stories at the same time. One is basically a piece of description that I'm hoping to squeeze a plot out of, and the other is the first part of my 2012 NaNoWriMo novel.

But I'm going through the whole spectrum of writing within one page. I'll write a sentence I think is perfect, then another which is rubbish, then I'll decide the whole idea is a waste of time, then I'll sweep right back to writing something brilliant again.

This makes it really hard to know if I'm actually writing anything that's any good. In fact, the original title of this post was "How do you know if you're writing a good story?" but that sounded like I was going to give advice and actually explain, rather than appeal for help myself.

(If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you'll know giving advice isn't my forte!)

As far as I can tell, from my own experience, you know when you get that gut-feeling. I've had it many times, and I'm usually right. Which should mean that when I don't have that feeling I should give up, right?

But I won't. Because I'm stubborn.

How do you decide which projects are worth the effort?

Have you ever shelved a story and gone back to it?

___________________________________________________________

In other news, You. I. Us. has been getting some really great reviews recently. Thank you to everyone who's taken the time to leave a review on Goodreads or Amazon.

Whenever I get a good review, I treat myself to some chocolate - and you should know how much I like chocolate by now, so I really appreciate it on a whole new level.

Man Booker time again

It's Man Booker longlist time again, and it looks like a good one.

I was a little uninspired by last year's list, but this year I already had some of the books on my TBR list, so I spent time today adding a couple more.

I hadn't realised it was being announced today until one of my friends on Facebook - the owner of Salt - shared the news that another of his authors had been included, Wyl Menmuir for his book The Many. I wrote about Salt's story in 2012 when Alison Moore made it to the shortlist. You can read my post here - it's an inspiring story in itself.

I love the Man Booker Prize, because I'll be winning it when I'm 56 (it's been a long standing conviction since I was 17, I might have mentioned it once or twice).

Every year, when the prize rolls around, it makes me super focused on my writing. I've been a bit aimless (again... *sigh*) since I finished my WIP at the end of last month, so today I started re-reading a novel I've been submitting to agents, and decided to refresh it. None of the agents have been interested, so it's probably a good time to have another go at it. Beta readers have given it thumbs up, so it might be just a case of jiggling with it and trying again.

It can't hurt, right?

At the moment, I have chopped up/taped back together scenes strewn all over my floor, and I'm fending Artoo off with my foot. So, it's probably time to get back to work.

What have you been up to?

What gets you motivated to write? Do you even need motivating as much as I do?

Blog Tour: Day 15, finishing with Christine

It's been three weeks, ladies and gents, fifteen blog posts and countless comments, (plus three hot chocolate dates with friends and family - including one today!- and a completed round of edits for my WIP) and I've finally reached the end of my tour. Thank you all so much for sticking with me. I've enjoyed every second.

Huge thanks go out to the fifteen bloggers who made the tour a success with their fascinating and thought-provoking questions.

I'm heading to Christine Rain's blog today to discuss the most important element of a short story.

I'll leave you with one final picture of Artoo, and my leg - this is the view I had for most of the England v Wales game (the game we won during our Euro campaign) when he couldn't understand why I was watching telly instead of taking him for a walk.

Blog Tour: Day 7, chatting with M.J. Fifield

(The link is live now, sorry if you tried and failed earlier.)

I'm very happy , because England scrapped into the last 16 of Euro 2016. I wasn't so happy last night, when they played a very average 0-0 game. But, at least they've got a week to get better! Can they? I don't know...

I'm having a few computer/internet issues at the moment, which is making commenting on my guest posts quite difficult. Randomly, my computer will just freeze, the internet will vanish, my cursor will disappear or my words will take several seconds to register on the screen - all of which is making this blogging lark mighty difficult. Please bear with me.

Anyway, today, I'm chatting with M.J. Fifield about my writing process. I hope you'll pop over and witness my oddity for yourself!

Here are some dog-walking photos - when I'm struggling with my WIP, the dog always gets extra walks.

My to-do list keeps getting bigger

I would like to say a huge thank you to my guest bloggers/interviewees over the past couple of weeks. Sometimes, when I'm in the middle of writing, everything else goes pear-shaped - I'm lucky I remember to go to work, some days!

I've been deep into some serious rewriting for a resubmission - so serious that my 39,000 word novella is looking like it's going to be a 50,000 novel. Possibly longer. I'm not sure how I feel about this at the moment - the story I wanted to tell is getting lost. I'm going to keep going, but during my re-read it might scale right the way back to 39,000 words again. But, obviously, different ones!

As well as writing, I'm trying to keep on top of marketing my new book. You know the one. It's over there, on the left, keep going... That's it, the one with the amazing cover.

Today I was told that all the pre-order links are live - print and ebook. If you'd like to check it out, click here now, to find the pre-order links, add it to your Goodreads TBR list, or to look around the site and find other great titles.

I've got three events coming up - two book signings and a book fair in my hometown, all within a couple of weeks of each other. I just hope I've got enough books to sell - and that the locals don't get bored of me. Because of those events, I'm designing a large banner to take around with me. Well, okay, I'm not, but my wonderful husband is - right now, in fact.

On top of that, I thought that maybe my web site needed an overhaul, so I'm currently trying to tie it in with the new banner and some business cards. I even thought about having some new author photos taken, but given the fact I'm procrastinating over my passport photos, it's probably not a wise idea.

Oh, and I've got the posts for my blog tour to write and send out. If you've signed up as a tour stop, rest assured I haven't forgotten you.

You know, I thought by writing it all down, it wouldn't seem such a mammoth list. But it is, isn't it? I'm not complaining - before my first book was published, I used to look enviously at all those writers who were juggling their tasks. Plus, the wine I'm drinking is helping. How many other jobs are there where drinking wine is practically a prerequisite?

What's keeping you busy at the moment?

Too many words

This morning I was inspired by a dream, but as I woke up, the images evaporated.

On my dog-walk, a whole heap of words flew at me, for a completely different story.

Sitting here, after lunch, and staring at an unexpectedly high water bill, another story jumped up, waved about a bit and disappeared from view.

I haven't been able to capture any of these stories, because the words are currently reminiscent of abstract oil paintings with wings.

Three stories, though... If they ever decide to gravitate towards me, I'll be busy.

~~~~~

Anyway, it's the last day of March, the day when previously sane bloggers worry about the A-Z Challenge they're about to undertake. I've done it twice since I started my blog, but April is usually a bad month for me, and I can't always spare the amount of time that it takes. I'll sit back and enjoy everyone else's posts though. Have a great month!

Bad week got better

Thank you for all your support and hugs after my last post. Today I finally got to the end of my revisions, only a few days late!

After realising the best words I'd ever written had disappeared into the ether (and therefore I can pretend they were the best words ever), I got down to re-writing them pretty quickly in case I lost the thread of what I'd been trying to say.

Some of you suggested waiting a few days, but I was far too worried to do that. By Wednesday evening, just before Castle started at 9pm, I reached the stage I thought I'd got to on Monday evening. And from there, I was able to proceed to the challenging end-of-the-novella. It's not the best ending in the world, but I'll be having another read through next week, and hopefully some new problems will rear their head.

Am I alone in thinking that if I can't find a problem to solve, the whole thing must be atrociously bad?

I'm pretty pleased with myself because since starting to rewrite this novella at the beginning of February, I have added 9000 words, hopefully made the main character a little more sympathetic and made the 'nasty husband' slightly less nasty so the end of the story makes sense.

My aims for the next round are:

• turn the colours blue and green and red into more descriptive colours using this site
• make sure the weather accurately portrays the time of year
• possibly cut a few words, depending on whether I want to enter it into a competition or submit it

So, that's it. My goal for March was to get this novella finished, and I'm very securely within that. I deserve chocolate!

Did you have goals for March?

How are you doing with them?

In the middle of a crisis

I'm currently right in the middle of a crisis. I worked hard last night, and made some revisions to my current WIP that flowed so well. And then...

IT DIDN'T SAVE!

I didn't notice until this afternoon, because this morning I went back over a different part of the WIP and didn't think to check the end - why would I?

I actually felt sick when I realised. And then I sobbed - proper they-cancelled-Firefly sobbing. I shared my anguish on Facebook, because I needed immediate sympathy, and the dog just looked confused by the noise. Isn't Facebook fantastic for that kind of thing? My dear friends said just the right things.

I've been struggling with this novella for quite a while, and yesterday just seemed to work. I'd written the scenes out longhand, but then changed them as I went along, moving sections around so the story made more sense. And now, I can't remember a single thing.

I'm writing this post because every time I look at the WIP I want to cry all over again. This chapter is now going to be very different to how it was yesterday, which will have a knock-on effect on the ending. All the problems I'd figured out yesterday are now right back where they always were, and I have no idea how I solved them. I wish I had a photographic memory - it would be so useful right now.

Sometimes, writing isn't fun...

NaNoWriMo... ish

I did NaNo a couple of years ago. I won, and I have the proof - it's in my large chest table in my living room and, although I've often considered doing something with it, I haven't touched it for over a year.

It took a lot of time and energy, and my kids needed me every time I reached a crucial scene. I swear it became the busiest month of the whole year! I haven't even considered doing it again.

Until today.

I'm not going to sign up, because I've decided to take away the word count element. Instead, I'm going to write pages. 500 of them.

For some reason, I started writing my new project on used/old scrap paper in giant writing. On average I'm probably writing slightly more than 100 words on each page.

500 pages, 100 words each... You see where I'm going with this, don't you?

I'm only a day behind the official participants, but I've started off quite solidly. And perhaps, if I'm focusing on the length, I won't focus on the story, on how silly it is, on how I have to start again because it's so awful, on how I need to have the perfect word in order to move on.

So, that's my November taken care off, what are you up to?

Are you taking part in NaNoWriMo or cheering others on from the sidelines?

And importantly, what snacks should I stock up on?

Today I am somewhere else...

I am sharing some tips on How to Write Scary, over on Write...Edit...Publish today - and no, I don't mean forget to put your make-up on!

Do you write scary stories? What tips would you share?

What do you think of my tips?

See you there!

My words are missing

My writing has felt like an uphill struggle for the past six months or so. I take one step forward (a shiny new idea) and three steps back (my rational head tells me the idea is too rubbish to contemplate).

I've chosen Glastonbury Tor to illustrate this post because I walked up it in July, on a beautifully warm and clear day. From the top, you can see for miles across Somerset. I wish I could see my writing so clearly. (See what I did there??)

Last week, I had the house to myself. Even the dog was out for the day, so I didn't have the distraction of taking him for a walk, or letting him out into the garden, or playing tuggy with his favourite toy.

And yet, I wrote nothing. I wrote some ideas. Made a cup of tea. Came back and scribbled out my ideas. I tried to rewrite a different story, but it was rubbish - so that got saved (I save everything) under the title To be buried forever and ever.

I know what the problem is: I finished a novel in February. Whereas most writers move on to their next shiny idea, I'm a gibbering mess. I try to stay positive - I announce new ideas on my Facebook page, as though saying it out loud will consolidate them, and I write blog posts that sound relatively upbeat - but the reality is just a little bit different.

I'm going to make a couple of changes:

1. I'm going to change the place where I write - I'm going to move to the dining table.
2. I'm going to limit my wasteful web surfing. I spend a lot of time on the internet, but still don't manage to visit blogs or do meaningful research. I end up on bodybuilding web sites, reading their forums about how to get bigger biceps. (Actually, my biceps are coming along pretty well...)
3. I'm going to manage my time (related slightly to my point above). There will be strict no internet hours, with ten minutes surfing every so often for light relief.
4. I may try dressing in smart clothes, as though I am working in an office. I once read about a writer who did this to put herself in 'work mode'.

I'll only need to do this until I get myself stuck into a new project. Once I'm there, I will be totally focused to the point of ignoring everything around me and walking around with a glazed look on my face while my characters take over.

Comments will be disabled for this post, just because it's a little but whiny - and you all commented on Melissa's post on Monday which dealt with the same subject. I would however appreciate some positive thinking - thank you.

The changing face of research

I don't research much. I've always written what I know, or glossed over stuff that I didn't know.

Mostly, this is because I started writing in the dark ages (ie. Before Internet), so any research meant traipsing off to my local library, or the much larger library in Plymouth. It was a hassle, to be honest - and I was never organised enough to make notes of all the things I needed to know before I went, so after a half-hearted browse among the shelves, I'd give up and go home. Only to remember what I'd wanted to look for.

I did once learn how to count to 10 in Hungarian, because I wanted one of my characters to have a weird fact attached to them. I had to go to the big library and search through their Hungarian dictionary. I've forgotten now, though, so don't ask!

I liked the idea of research though - of having piles of old, fragrant books on my desk, of writing notes, of sipping take-out coffee from plastic cups... I'm a research romantic!

Fast forward to today. My latest character has announced herself as a lover of female blues singers... and I know nothing about them. Luckily for me, the internet - and YouTube - exists. So I have spent the last couple of days immersing myself in all things blues.

Do you enjoy research?

What's the weirdest thing you've learned through your research?

Do you have any female blues artists recommendations?

Too much to do

It is probably obvious to my new followers that I a) don't post as regularly as I do during the A-Z challenge and b) there aren't many flash fiction posts. Perhaps I should do more fiction on this blog, but I prefer to write things that I might be able to sell, and if I post them here I won't be able to do that. Also, it will become obvious that I spend my time taking photos like this...

... instead of writing, posting and generally keeping on top of my to-do list.

However, the reason I take a lot of alcohol and nice-view pictures is because I spend some of my time listening to my husband gigging (Peter Crawford, in case you're really new here - he mostly gigs in Cornwall, Devon, Cheltenham, Belgium and Germany). And that will also explain why I take nice-view photos through windows rather than being outside!

My current to-do list includes making more use of my mailing list and writing a new novel.

I was doing well with the new novel, which was actually going to be a rewrite of an old novel, Until I realised that it was awful, certain events made no sense whatsoever, it was set in London even though I've only been there twice, and I'd used a narrative device which I mutated to use in Cat & The Dreamer, so I can't really use the same device again.

So, I've taken it back to the drawing board and letting my imagination run riot... and it is!

As for my mailing list goal, why not sign up to see how I get on...

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IWSG - Pass the red pen

There I was thinking my bloghop duties were over for a few days, at least, and then I look at my blog feed and everyone has realised that it's the first Wednesday of the month, and you should know what that means by now...

Click here for the linky list of members

I have decided to query agents with my latest novel. I had planned to simply pep up my synopsis and send it on its way, but I couldn't remember the story! So now I am reading my novel for the first time since before Christmas.

I thought it would be an easy recall the story and write the synopsis type job, but as I read, I can see parts I would love to rewrite. I'm battling against myself at the moment, because this poor story has gone through so many rewrites over several years I can't see how I could do better.

I still have half the book to read, so the battle isn't over yet. On the positive side, I think I might have nailed the synopsis... maybe.

Do you find things you want to change on your final read through?

Have you ever forgotten the story you told?

Do you have any general querying/submitting advice?

(UK and US methods vary greatly, so some advice might

not be suitable for me, but will definitely help others)

IWSG... Baring my soul

It's April... Happy A-Z Challenge, guys. My A post will be along a little later, but there's a reason I'm doing my Insecure group post first...

I'm completely insecure about my challenge entries.

I'm doing flash fiction/vignette/a bit of random rambling in fiction form - and I know, because people have told me, that several people are really looking forward to reading some new fiction from me.

But the problem is... all the fiction I've ever put out has been edited to death - continually being tweaked for several months/years - and my A-Z posts only came into being at the beginning of March. They are raw, open, stark. I feel like I'm baring my soul!

Okay, I'm done being a wimp. I'm going to let them out into the world now...

Today's challenge post will be posted at 8am GMT; the rest of the month will be posted at 6am GMT.