Please welcome the wonderful Elizabeth Seckman to my blog today - she is a super supportive blogger, and hosted a stop on my last blog tour, so as a thank you I've given her my blog for the day. I wonder what she has to say...
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| Want the magnet? Buy it Here! |
Hey Annalisa!
Thanks for having me over.
You go put the kettle on (practicing my Brit lingo) while I tell you how a fridge magnet changed my thinking.
I was out shopping with some girlfriends and came across this magnet, "Dear Lord, if you can't make me skinny, please make all my friends fat!"
At first glance I got a good laugh.
I mean misery does love company and if everyone was in the same chubby boat as me, I'd feel a whole lot better about myself.
Or our cellulite covered butts would sink our dingy and we'd all drown.
But still, I wouldn't be THE chunky chick, I'd just be one of many...
Then I started thinking...how beastly is that sort of thinking?
It's not at all motivating. I mean motivation is the push to do better, to try harder.
I decided this little five dollar cutie was a double fail-
First fail:
"Lord, make me skinny?" Like I was going to get a miracle where chocolates, candies, and cakes were suddenly going to become the new broccoli, carrots, and celery of the world and TV watching would become high impact cardio?
Absurd, right?
Second fail:
Absurd, right?
Second fail:
I was asking to drag all my friends down (or up the scale) with me.
Ms. Size Six who never finishes a full meal? I hoped your every spoonful had a heaping helping of excess fat.
Ms. Thin who skates every evening? Sorry, I just wished you a broader bum!
Final conclusion? I am what I am because of the choices make. If I want to be something different, I have to make different choices. And if I don't want to put in the sweat equity, then I'll accept and love the person I am.
To wish failure on my friends? Well the only thing that shrinks is my personality.
Ms. Size Six who never finishes a full meal? I hoped your every spoonful had a heaping helping of excess fat.
Ms. Thin who skates every evening? Sorry, I just wished you a broader bum!
Final conclusion? I am what I am because of the choices make. If I want to be something different, I have to make different choices. And if I don't want to put in the sweat equity, then I'll accept and love the person I am.
To wish failure on my friends? Well the only thing that shrinks is my personality.
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My pooch is tummy pooch camouflage!
Links:
Bio:
Elizabeth is just a simple Yankee chick who dares to dream...one day she'll have a clean house, a tight bum, and a shelf full of books with her name on them. The mother of four boys...she divides her time between the laundry room, the kitchen, and the computer.
Hi Elizabeth love your pooch! Accepting ourselves as we are is the way to go, hard though it often might be. Off to put the kettle on for a cuppa now but I WILL resist the biscuits!
ReplyDeleteOoh...a cuppa...a new lingo I must put in my mental dictionary!
DeleteI think accepting ourselves and stopping the obsession is one of the first steps in resisting the biscuits. Nothing makes me hungrier and more sluggish than feeling awful about myself!
Thanks for having me over Annalisa! You are a blogger bestie for certain!
Elizabeth, that's a great attitude! We are where we are because of US, and no one else.
ReplyDeleteIt was a lesson that has gotten me way farther in life than wishing and hoping to be something else.
DeleteElizabeth, I laughed out loud at the magnet, too. But you're right. It's not a good attitude to have.
ReplyDeleteIt's definitely a funny magnet. I'd still put it on my fridge...just don't buy into the thinking.
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Deletegreat post.
ReplyDeleteThanks Michelle!!
DeleteIs it me or is that pooch 'working it' for the camera? And you're so right, only you get smaller when you wish bad on your friends. This was a fun post with a great lesson. Thanks Liz and Anna. The magnet is awesome.
ReplyDeleteMy pooch is such a total attention hog!
DeleteThanks Sheena-kay :)
Accepting ourselves is key. And I think you're very lovely as you are. You should hum that Billy Joel song to yourself, Don't go Changing....
ReplyDeleteI love Billy Joel! Such a talented guy. And you're right. I still, of course, have plenty of insecurity, but compared to the puddle I used to be, I am so much stronger!
DeleteAnd thanks Mary...you're the sweetest!
Great Post, Elizabeth. I can relate---with it all!
ReplyDeleteGreat minds think alike Cathrina (love the name by the way)
DeleteSo glad you came to England with us!!
Thanks to everyone for reading Elizabeth's post today. She makes an excellent point, and is now top of my list when I need advice :-)
ReplyDeleteI don't know if that will work...you're my good advice go-to-gal!
DeleteWe can trade advice!
DeleteYou don't look fat to me, love - nowhere near the obesity I see every day wearing skinny clothes.
ReplyDeleteEeps. I'm fit to survive a few days of famine ;)
DeleteI'd NEVER wear the skinny clothes I see people stuff themselves into. Honestly, I used to have real issues with body image. I was never fat, but I was never super thin and I would beat myself us and feel horrible.
But I've learned to quit trying to be what Hollywood says looks good and I aim to be healthy and maintain a healthy weight. And I have smart friends like Annalisa who remind me that exercise and eating right shouldn't be a "get to size 2 obsession" but a way to be able to climb steps when I'm 70.
(BTW lizy, have I told you I love you? hehe)
Well put. I'll put my cellulite-full butt on the couch next to you anytime. My best friend lost 50 pounds and I'm having a really hard time not being jealous...I was a size 3 gymnast in high school and now am a size 12-14 mom of two teenagers. Sounds like we divide our time about the same...
ReplyDeleteTina @ Life is Good
I've been there...felt that! Two of my best friends were the tiny gymnast types. I was never super thin, always the "sturdy" type. Not fat mind you, but NEVER teeny. And I wanted to be!
DeleteBut that's not in the cards and I will NOT beat myself up anymore. There was a time when I promised myself I wouldn't buy any new clothes until I lost weight, so I was dressing in rags and feeling worse and worse. But then I decided no more. I will not beat myself up over weight anymore. There is much more to us than the size of our pants.
So love yourself and be good to yourself...aqnd join me on the couch any time!! Get a good chick flick and some popcorn and a candy bar (see, the un-obsessed gal is way more fun to hang with ;)
Okay then, "hi to Elizabeth Seckman". Goodbye LOL
ReplyDeleteHey Elizabeth, "Hey up duck!! 'Ow at?" Good in teet? Anyway, Elizabeth, positivity breeds positivity. That you have in oodles....
Annalisa, thanks for having the delightful Elizabeth visit your site. You are both lovely ladies and it's my pleasure to know you both.
In kindness and a cheerio,
Gary :)
Cheerio Gary!! I ever truly make it to England...meeting with you guys will be top of the bucket list!
DeleteIsn't funny how we perceive ourselves when no one would look at your picture and see the same thing? Having "struggled" my entire life with weight and self-esteem, I get so frustrated by the futility and waste of emotional energy of it all. You are gorgeous-- and everyone who knows you in blogland knows this beauty starts with your sweet personality and works its way out to your pretty outsides. Yay you! (And cute dog!)
ReplyDeleteJulie makes Elizabeth cry.
DeleteThat was the sweetest. Thank you.
I spent waaaayyy too much of my life in self-loathing over body image. And of course, I go back and look at pictures and I wish I could grab a time machine and slap the crap out of younger me. I think we are so bombarded with unrealistic expectations from television and magazines it is almost inevitable that we can't survive our teens without hang ups.
Next time you're in Pittsbugh...you really should give me a shout out. I owe you such a BIG hug!!
Did I know you are in Pittsburgh? That would be so cool to meet you!
DeleteOh and I do the same thing-- look at old pictures and feel sad that I wasted so much time feeling unhappy about me. Bah. What a cycle.
Taking a healthy accountability for our choices and moving forward with a positive attitude. Great post!
ReplyDeleteMadison
Thank you Madison...you summed it up perfectly!
DeleteAh, Elizabeth...
ReplyDeleteNo wonder you got silent earlier today .... I felt the tone change. I understand... YES, I DO... I was HUGE only a few short years ago... ANd you are right, it is a choice! I chose to give up sweets and the food I love to be fit. Not be be thin again, but to be HEALTHY... I had high blood pressure, chronic arthritis, and I felt like CRAP... Do I curse EVERY DAY? YOU BET!!! It is NOT EASY... It's a full time job and I have to watch every second because it does creep back on.
Now, I have a question for you. DO your REALIZE how LOVELY you are? Answer the question please.. Do you? WEll, let me answer it for you. YOU ARE!!!! It kills me! SO MANY of my beautiful blogger friends carrying a few extra pounds are beating themselves up. STOP IT! I see the pain behind the jokes. You are a lovely and vibrant woman. Your passion for life is obvious in everything you say. I don't care what the magazines show. A light glows from your face. It's beautiful... And I know beauty... I was a model for fifteen years. Those skinny chicks aren't as beautiful as you think ... It's all makeup, hair, and lighting. And many are truly horrific because of their attitude. I've seen it all.
Anyone can honestly have a body... but a FACE... not so... Remember that the next time you look in the mirror... ALL OF YOU LOVELY LADIES!
Give yourself and the men in your life a break... they LOVE you because you ARE beautiful....
ENOUGH SAID.
Hugs Michael! You are so totally right. And I swear...I am so much better than I used to be. My attitude, that is. I don't think I will ever be the kind of girl who loves it when a camera comes out, but I am at a much, much healthier frame of mind than when I was a younger me.
DeleteAnd you know what Michael? You are so totally right...ladies, we do it to ourselves. We can't blame men for this. I've found men aren't half as hard on women for their size than women are to each other. I live in a house of men which has me surrounded by guys for most of my life and not a single one think the anorexic look is sexy. But as women, size 0 is what many of us dream of (or used to dream of.)
Thanks Michael, you are, as always a positive spirit and a sweetheart. And I like to think I am getting wiser each day...and I totally eat my bananas and think of you!
You're gorgie Elizabeth! Truly.
ReplyDeleteAnd as someone who has models for friends...I have to be honest and tell you, watching them starve themselves for months on end, eating nothing but Diet Pepsi and air, is not cool. They may have no cellulite, but they also have NO fun (in my book).
I totally get ya. I couldn't (wouldn't) wouldn't starve myself. As a more mature me, I realize the benefits of good health. I'd rather have a strong, healthy body than a starved, depleted self.
DeleteYou're gorgie too jaybird and I just love the spirit you've instilled in those truly gorgeous daughters of yours. I wish every young girl had their chutzpah. If I'd ever had daughters, I'd want little ladies like yours. You've done well.
Elizabeth, you're just too awesome. You remind me of my best friend from elementary school, who I totally love to this day. --And your message? Awesome. Shall I say awesome again? Yup. Awesome, awesome, awesome. ;)
ReplyDeletethat's awesomeness to the sixth power...I'll add that you too are awesome, so that gets us to lucky 7th power :)
DeleteDragging your friends down - that's called crabs in a bucket. It's such a negative way to live.
ReplyDeleteYou are totally right! I don't want to be a crab or live in a bucket!!
DeleteI love the spirit and message of this post.
ReplyDeleteThanks Medeia!!
DeleteI love Elizabeth! And what's better than a pooch to provide tummy camouflage? Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteI love you too Julie!! I totally recommend the pooch as pooch camo!
DeleteAwesome post! I completely agree with you. I need a pooch or a kitty!
ReplyDeleteI have both...two pooches and one kitty. They are totally worth the work. They love me no matter what stupid things I do.
DeleteI love your attitude, Elizabeth.. and what a great post:)
ReplyDeleteThanks!! :)
DeleteElizabeth definitely struck a chord with all of us in this post. I too think she's an awesome lady, with an awesome attitude to life!
ReplyDeleteAw thanks Annalisa :)
DeleteYou are totally a bestie and I think you're tops!