Before you read further, check out my post on the Really Real Housewives blog...
Done that... Okay, good.
So, the problem with a recipe: I am not a good cook.
Solution: Wing it, and share my mum's really simple cheesecake recipe...
Or, at least, that was the plan.
It starts off well. I crush up the biscuits like an expert, while the butter melts under a gentle heat (note: mutli-tasking, people. Aren't you impressed?)
However, I read the recipe wrong and only melt 28g of butter. I pour it into the biscuit crumbs and notice (observant) that it isn't coating the crumbs at all. I slice off some more butter, melt it, pour it in. It still doesn't look enough, but that's the recipe, so okay... I put the base into the cake tin, press it down, put it in the fridge.
I open my laptop to change the recipe, and realise I should have put 85g of butter. So - with 28g plus an undetermined amount already mixed in - I'm now melting more and hoping it will come out somewhere near the actual 85g it should have been.
Next, I tip the soft cheese into the bowl - two small tubs, so I know I've got the right amount there - and start to weigh out the yoghurt.
Except... the scale isn't switched on. So now I have to pick up the (luckily, quite solid Greek) yoghurt with my fingers while I turn the scale on.
Next, to whisk. It's an electric hand whisk, so I clip the mixer blades and turn it on. One falls off straight away and another isn't working. I unclip the blades, by now covered in the mixture, and reattach. And repeat twice more until it inexplicably starts to work.
And as a final flourish, after I've put the mixture into the tin, I realise I completely forgot to add the sugar...
I contemplate pouring myself a glass of wine to recover, and remember it's only 10am (responsible).
Moral of the story: Don't ask me to cook, anything, at all, ever!
To make me feel better, I'd love you to share your kitchen disasters.
And then, remember to visit me at the Really Real Housewives blog.