Wednesday, 7 August 2013

Insecure in bullet points


Hello first Wednesday of the month, it's lovely to see you. It's Insecure Writer's Support Group time again, of course... follow this link for the linky list to check out other group members, or to join up and share your own insecurities.

I've actually got a few insecurities this month, but nothing new to share. If you've read my blog recently, you'll know all about them.

 So here's a really brief list, just to recap:
  • Book sales quite low (although a single sale does push me quite high up the Amazon charts)
  • Not very many reviews (although the ones I've got are mostly very good)
  • Just completed a novel that's so completely unlike anything else I've written I'm considering a pen name for it
  • I think my current WIP revamp is too depressing
  • I've got a bit of a chocolate cake habit going on
  • I'm now the mother of a 14 year old and I don't feel old enough
  • Even after weeks of wearing nothing but skirts and shorts I've barely got a tan on my legs
  • I often go to bed thinking I should have done more with my day

Um, is that enough...? Yeah, that's probably enough. I'm off to visit your real insecurities now!


69 comments:

  1. Definitely with you on the last few! I'm not old enough to have a 19 year old surely! My legs never seem to go brown (maybe that's because I spend too much time in front of a computer inside!) and bedtime is the worst time to think about things!
    As for the writing, maybe you needed to try something really different, you never know where it might lead you.

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    1. I think it should be law to have kids lie about their ages after 12!

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  2. I often go to bed feeling that it's not that I didn't do enough in the day, but that there aren't enough hours in the day. That's my perspective!

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    1. Yes, I like thinking of it like that. Although for me sometimes it's the fact I stayed in and worked on one really bad paragraph instead of going out and enjoying the sunshine!

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  3. If you find a solution to the last one let me know, I constantly feel like that! I think the fact you've published and got good reviews on Amazon whilst bringing up a teenager is pretty impressive to be honest! Go you!

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    1. He's a pretty easy lad to be honest. I've been very lucky :-)

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  4. That last one is a problem for me too. Perhaps it would help us to focus on what we have managed to do, rather than all the things we've not yet accomplished?

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    1. I think we should both try our best to do just that, thanks Patsy :-)

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  5. I feel your pain, I've just been to Spain for 10 days and still my legs are white. My face too.
    Mmm chocolate cake...

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    1. Lol - perhaps the Spanish sun was inferior? We'll have to stay pale and interesting :-)

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  6. Sorry you are feeling a bit low. Teenagers are suppose to be hard to handle. I know I gave my poor mum hell. At least you get to have chocolate cake. I hope the book sales pick up. You deserve to have your books sell well. Best of luck and I hope things get better soon.

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    1. Not really feeling low, but once I started the list I couldn't stop :-) Thanks for the good wishes.

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  7. Awww...you're having a nail-biting time. I know them so well :-) I understand about sales and reviews but I'm so scared of overloading Facebook and all the social networking sites that I think I've gone the other way. I have a general chocolate addiction :-)

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    1. Yes, I think I'm too far the other way too. I was thinking of just walking up and down the main street in town with a sandwich board... In fact, we have a town cryer, I bet I could get him and his hand bell involved...

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  8. Oh Annalisa, that did make me laugh (sorry!). Especially the pale legs part! Hang on in there!

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    1. I've been hanging on for about 20 years - they'll tan in their own time, won't they? :-)

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  9. I can relate to most of these! (Although my pale legs are because I always wear jeans.) ;) I never get as much done as I think I should. Suddenly the day is over and I think, "Wait, what did I do today? I know I was busy and yet it seems not much got done!"

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    1. Yes, exactly. It's like there's an evil fairy stealing our achievements!

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  10. I hear you on that last one. The problem is, what's enough? When are we ever satisfied with what we've accomplished? Isn't there always "more" we can do? Sheesh, it gives me a headache. :)

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    1. As I said in an earlier reply, it's not always to do with what I've accomplished, but what I've let slip by - like a coffee in the sun, or baking a cake.

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  11. I've struggled with being pale and freckled all my life. Try a fake tan with the products available. Just rub it on and it really helps to give some color to your legs and make them smooth and moisturized. I cannot believe I have grandkids!! I also am torn between driving eveyone nuts with all my super promos and interviews and just being a kind grandmother talking to whoever wants to share with me. Egad@

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    1. Oh I gave up on all fake tan when my efforts came out streaky and weird - even the gradual tan moisturisers leave my legs several different shades of brown! My sister helpfully pointed out I could legally be a grandmother in three years time - I ignored her!

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  12. I hear you on all of that, on concur on most. My little one is about to turn fourteen, and my 16 year old is three months away from his license, and 5'11". When we found that out (at the museum of all places...) he was so thrilled, because now he's as tall as The Engineer, but to me, he's now a man, not my little boy. Sigh. It's been a sentimental week - his best friend left for college yesterday. Wrote a poem about them on Monday's post to try to get some of the angst out.
    Tina @ Life is Good

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    1. The transition between child and adult is interesting. Already I'm starting to feel they are taking care of me rather than the other way around - perhaps that's the nature of sons? I don't have any girls, so I'm not sure how it varies.

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  13. Amazing how our kids age and we don't! I think that as I stare down the 23rd and 18th birthday of my BABIES.

    I love that you have written something a little different. I admire authors who can stretch outside their usual style or genre. I hope it succeeds beautifully.

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    1. Yes, I am not a day older than I was when I met my husband, let alone married him and had his kids! Perhaps we are in a time-travel novel without realising it? :-)

      It's very scary writing something so different, I keep apologising for it!

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  14. I can sure relate to the lack of tan. I could be out in the sun all day every day and still be pale as a ghost. My niece calls it my "graveyard tan."

    You definitely don't seem old enough to have a 14 year old. :)

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    1. Graveyard tan - I love it :-) Thank you, you're very kind re my age!

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  15. You don't look like someone with a fourteen-year-old.
    Cool your next story is really different. Now I'm curious!

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    1. Thanks Alex, you charmer :-) I'm glad I've made you curious!

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  16. I gave up on tans. Now when people talk about how they want to be more tan, I whip out my pasty white cosmo chemist legs. It makes them feel better.

    So yeah, I have the complexion of a troglodyte. Good luck with the tan.

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    1. People tend to seek me out so they can feel better about their own tans. I have to be careful that my own arms and legs aren't too close together, because that really shows off how white my legs are :-)

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  17. The one insecurity that caught my eye was you being the mother of a fourteen-year-old. In my dreams! I am the mother of three over-forties and one 35 year old. Think yourself lucky, girl!

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    1. Yes, I did ask my mum how she felt, being the grandmother of a 14 year old... hehehe :-)

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  18. I feel your pain! I have legs that blind people...on the bright side, I have less wrinkles than some at my age. I have a nineteen year old!!! How did that happen? And all of my "babies" are now teens. Gee thanks Annalisa...now I need the chocolate cake ;)

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    1. Ah, less wrinkles are a good trade-off! I'm sorry I forced you to the chocolate cake... but it does taste good, doesn't it? :-)

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  19. I've been trying to revamp my age with my kids and they just laugh. As for the white legs...at least you don't have the leathery alligator skin!

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    1. I have a rather 'defining' birthday next year, so I can't revamp for the time being - maybe afterwards! Yes, there's always a positive to white legs :-)

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  20. I got as far as 'chocolate cake' and wondered why that was on your list. ;)

    Sounds like you couldn't shoehorn another task into your day.

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    1. It depends how much chocolate cake you're thinking is normal... :-)

      Sitting here at 9am while the rest of the house sleeps, it feels like I've got loads of time - the school holidays are always a weird time though.

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  21. I can definitely relate to all you feeling. Hugs.

    Nas

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    1. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one, Nas :-)

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  22. Call me when you are approaching age 55. Yowza. Anyway - just stick with the chocolate cake. Add wine when necessary. Don't worry about numbers. Be proud of your writing. It's all going to click. You are on the right path ( in my opinion. Then again I'm almost 55 with truly sucky sales numbers - what do I know?)
    Cheers

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    1. I'm trying not to worry about numbers - and it was cool to see one of the books up in a top 100 list on Amazon this week! I love Wordsplash Flash - I often pick the book up and flick through... you just have to promote it a bit! :-)

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  23. So cute! Sure why not list the insecurities in bullet points LOL? These made me smile.

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    1. The problem with a list, though, is that it can expand out of control if you're not careful :-)

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  24. Those are all real insecurities. And FYI, I think going to bed without feeling that you've accomplished enough is part and parcel when you get your adult card. There are never enough hours/days/weeks to accomplish it all. The only redeeming thing is that no one can tell us when we get to have chocolate cake. Well, I guess there is the doctor, and maybe our spouses. Argh...

    Great IWSG posting!

    Kim Lajevardi
    (This Writer's Growing)

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    1. Is it wrong to admit that sometimes I tell my kids they can't have cake, and then scoff it myself when they're in bed??? (Don't tell my doctor!)

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  25. Hi Annalisa,

    I've stopped wearing skirts. I definitely think there's not enough time in the day. Which means, I commenting at nearly four in the morning.

    I'm not insecure. After all, this "I Was Seeking Gary" is quite the ego trip for me. Okay, I'm delusional.

    Gary :)

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    1. Not many people get a whole day, once a month! Perhaps next month you could wear a skirt to celebrate? :-)

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  26. Welcome to the human race Annalisa! I think most of us could just about jot down a variation of those bullet points. You're in good company with the chocolate - add cheesecake to the list to join me! And look at you - you're thinking of doing a J.K. Rowling. Super!

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    1. Oh yes, chocolate cheesecake is even better... but then I'd never stop eating it! Thanks for the J.K Rowling comparison, made me smile :-)

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  27. I can completely understand... I feel exactly the same. Best thing is to remember you are a fantastic author and to keep going forward. Focus on your next story and write what makes you happy:)

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    1. Thanks Tania - yes, the next story is important, and the one after that. The more books, the more success, so people tell me :-)

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  28. Your insecurities are real toy and that's what matters. Take time to look at your insecurities then decide how to alleviate them. Wow I sound like one of those soft spoken counselors in comedy movies.

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    1. Most of the list was a little tongue-in-cheek, apart from my age and white legs of course... Not sure what to do about either of those!

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  29. Hi Annalisa .. wonderful to have a 14 year old .. though perhaps once they're 20 it'll all settle down!

    Great that you're writing and producing different styles etc ..

    Age - sadly totters on! Cheers and enjoy the weekend I hope of warm weather .. Hilary

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    1. Thanks Hilary - so far, two days in, having a 14 year old isn't too bad :-) Fingers crossed for a lovely weekend!

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  30. Sounds like a bunch of valid insecurities to me!

    Hope things go better for you soon. ;-)

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    1. Thanks, I'm pretty happy with my list this month :-)

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  31. If having a chocolate cake habit is wrong, then I don't wanna be right.

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    1. Not so much the cake as the quantity - and the way it opposes my goal of 22% body fat ;-)

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  32. I feel you on all of this. I had minimal goals for Tough Girl. I've sold over 100 copies and feel pretty good about that. But it's not a ton. That is for sure. I always go to bed feeling like I could have done more. I'm never tan, despite pool time. I get it. Some weeks, you just feel beat up. Good luck!!!!

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    1. I just get hooked on numbers sometimes - if it's not sales, it's how much weight I can lift at the gym. Well done on your 100+ copies.

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  33. PS - I have a copy of Sadie, sorry I haven't reviewed yet. My TBR is insane right now.

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    1. Ooh, thank you! My list is exactly the same, plus the books that aren't on the list!

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  34. On the bright side, you have finished a book...which is more than I've done :D

    Sounds like you really have a 'full plate' there, so just remember to...breathe!

    Best wishes!

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    1. Yes, breathing, I should remember to do that a bit more often :-)

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  35. I'm with you on a lot of these insecurities. I'd say I probably go to bed most nights wondering if I could have done a bit more in the day, but we're only human after all and can only do so much with our time.

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Please comment - I love a good chat!