Friday, 17 April 2015

One Hundred Pieces of Me #AtoZchallenge



(This is a first draft - I meant to get back to it, but extra hours at work and my novel have taken over. Thank you for all the lovely comments so far, and apologies that I have been absent over the last couple of days. Some of you made some lovely comments about my M post - Monsters - so you might be interested to know that was an excerpt from the first story in Our Beautiful Child, which you can check out on Amazon and Goodreads. Thanks for all your support so far! Normal service resumed tomorrow.)


The mirror smashes. It falls from the wall right in front of me, the crash cascading around the room. I jump and my heart races.
A hundred faces watches me; a hundred pieces of me.
A thousand pieces of my soul, scattered on the floor.
A million scraps of my life.
I reach down pick up one of the shards; it slices into my hand. For a second, nothing happens, then a bubble of blood erupts and starts to trickle down my finger.
The images mutate, blurring at the edges. I stare until some of them don’t even look like me any more. I am gazing into the faces of countless strangers, all staring back. Not one of them is me. I am lost.

Don't forget to check out the other challengers!

39 comments:

  1. That was so vivid, I like how you have described everything!

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  2. Yet another masterpiece of a snippet. Sometimes an entire image in the mirror looks like a stranger, so a hundred of them would be shattering indeed.

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  3. What a powerful image - a mirror shattered like the person staring at the pieces.
    Tasha
    Tasha's Thinkings | Wittegen Press | FB3X (AC)

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    1. Thanks Tasha. I'm thinking I need to do something more with this.

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  4. Nice twist at the end. This reminded me of a song I wrote. The concept is exactly the same. :)

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    1. I wish I could write songs - sometimes it seems easier to get the ideas across.

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  5. You got own back on me with your chilling tale! This is at another level though. Incredible imagery.

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  6. This one is very eerie. It creeps up on you and then its strong imagery takes hold. I like it!

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  7. Nice. I once had a similar experience, although it was a glass door, not a mirror. I had tried to push my way through it while it was being held shut on the other side. Long story short, the whole thing came crashing down; I've still got the scars to show for it.

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    1. That sounds like a serious accident, Michael. Our mirror fell off the wall recently, although I wasn't in the house, so I didn't react in the same way as this character.

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  8. darn smooth first draft. Lost despite all of the images.........very good

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    1. Thank you, Joanne. I wasn't very happy with it, which is why I mentioned it was a first draft. In my head, I had a different idea of how it would read. But I'm really chuffed with all the positive comments :-)

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  9. Hi Annalisa - this is great .. I love your vignette ... and oh how very horrid to think about it ... definitely time to sweep up the bits and forget about the shattering ... well done - cheers Hilary

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    1. Thank you Hilary. Yes, it's definitely time for her to sweep up and make some changes, I would imagine!

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  10. we keep searching for ourselves, often life ends but not the search

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    1. It's a long process to find our true selves!

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  11. I never would have known this was a first draft if you hadn't said so. Beautifully written and touching as always.

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    1. Thanks Julie. I've re-read it several times today, and it's still not quite right. Lol, this is why I couldn't be one of those writers who write a draft then send it straight to a beta reader!

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  12. I thought this piece was full of imagery, I could see the blood erupting and trickling down the finger.

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  13. Annalisa, I just realized that you are the author of Our Beautiful Child, which I've had on my Goodreads TBR list for a few months. I will definitely read it now--like, today. I'm purchasing it right after I post this. :)

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    1. Yes, that's me Megan. Thank you so much, and I hope you enjoy it :-)

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  14. Well done. If I drop and break something, I get yelled at.

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    1. My son managed to break three pint glasses a while back - he got yelled at too :-)

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  15. That was pretty intense. I felt the despair of the character.

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  16. WOW! Mirrors are powerful and your very short piece represented them well :)

    You can find me here:
    ClarabelleRant

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  17. You definitely get the sense of someone slipping over the edge of sanity here and into an abyss. Great!

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    1. Thanks Shell. So many of my characters end up cross the sanity line. I have no idea why!

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  18. This definitely doesn't read like a first draft! Powerful imagery and writing, as always :)!

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Please comment - I love a good chat!