Wednesday, 15 April 2015

Monsters #AtoZchallenge



(excerpt from Ella's Story, "Our Beautiful Child and other stories")

I am three, maybe four. It’s dark, very late; the house is silent. I can no longer hear the comforting hum of voices from the living room, but I can hear the tick-tock clock in the hall, echoing in the shadows. I'm gripping my Barbie blanket around me and pulling it over my head. Because there’s a monster under my bed.
I'm being very quiet so the monster won’t know I'm here. I hold my breath and keep my eyes shut very, very tight. I hear a little whimper and I think it must be me, because monsters don’t get scared. Everyone knows that. A monster would roar loudly, or growl like a tiger; and this sound – this little whimper – is very soft, like a kitten when she’s lost. But I'm still scared, and I want my mummy.
I cry out by accident, then hold my hands over my mouth and wait for the monster to crawl out. Almost straight away Mummy and Daddy are standing over me; the light from the landing pours in and makes my bedroom look almost normal again, like it does in the day time.
“Monster,” I manage to whisper, before bursting into tears. Mummy sits down on my bed and hugs me tightly, folding her arms around me and smoothing my long blonde hair; I can smell the scent of fabric softener on her nighty. She rocks me backwards and forwards, and I start to feel silly: how could a monster get in when Mummy and Daddy are here to look after me?
“No monsters, Sweetheart,” says Daddy, looking under my bed and in my cupboard and through my stack of teddy bears in the corner.
“Just a bad dream,” says Mummy, kissing my forehead. She lays me back down and strokes my cheek.
Bad dream? I remember now. It was a bad dream. But it wasn't about a monster.

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21 comments:

  1. I hate bad dreams. If it wasn't a monster, what was it???

    lScribbles From Jenn - Visiting from the A to Z Challenge

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  2. Oh, I am intrigued! Now, I want to know what it was then.

    Coming over from A-Z

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  3. I feel very lucky to have shared a bedroom with my twin at the age where there were monsters under the bed - she could see under mine and I could see under hers :) Your tale was very vivid, capturing the girl's fear perfectly.I am intrigued to know what the bad dream was if it wasn't monsters.
    Tasha
    Tasha's Thinkings | Wittegen Press | FB3X (AC)

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  4. Rather articulate for a three-year-old. Kinda reminds me of my nephew. :)

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  5. You showed a child's fear real well. I think all kids are afraid of the dark and monsters hiding somewhere in their room.

    Now I want to read more. What was her dream about? Perhaps her parents...?

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  6. Hi Annalisa .. ooh bad dream .. now that's the next story; so well written .. it's great to read - cheers Hilary

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  7. I wonder what she dreamed about then?

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  8. If that snippet is indicative of the quality of the rest of the book it will be a hit.

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  9. I love the way you write. You write such a powerful scene.

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  10. Well, that's an intriguing ending! Fantastic writing.

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  11. Hi! I'm visiting from my blog, Whims & Wanderings. You stopped by mine and now I'm checking out your blog. I like the way you write! This little story intrigued me... and left me wanting to know what she dreamed about. :)

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  12. good excerpt. I shall have to re-read, but I remember the great writing. Everyone should buy your books!

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  13. Great twist. Now I need to know more.

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  14. Wow. Beautiful, terrible. I love your writing.

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  15. This story definitely makes me wonder. What could be scarier than a monster? *shivers*

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  16. the twist at the end is a bit of a mystery

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  17. Cheating a bit today, and replying to you all at once: No, there are no monsters, but something much worse :-) Thank you all for reading and commenting!

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  18. I love the mention of the tick-tock clock. You've left us on a bit of a hook though?

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  19. Love the twist at the end! I want to know what she was actually dreaming about now!

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Please comment - I love a good chat!