Saturday, 11 April 2015

Just a Child #AtoZchallenge




The child sat alone, aware of the adults lined up watching, but refusing to acknowledge them. They were pointing, writing on clipboards, as though he was an experiment in a lab; because he was an experiment. He resolutely stared ahead, focused on his task.
The adults stood behind a window and discussed him in muted voices. He couldn’t hear what they were saying, but a couple of them were extremely animated; their hands were flapping wildly and their faces held unease.
The child stacked wooden blocks the way he’d been shown the day before. Concentration etched on his face; his chubby hands working fastidiously. The blocks were yellow and blue and red, so first he stacked them in colour order, then in a neat pattern. Each time the stack fell, he embarked on a new design.
Once, just once, he looked up at them. His piercing green eyes penetrated each of them, as though he was looking deep into their souls. A cold chill flooded the room. He focused on them, one by one, considered them, then settled on the first and smiled.
It was a soft smile even though his eyes were scowling. His victim dropped her clipboard and ran away with a shriek, disturbed, chosen. He watched the ensuing kerfuffle with apathy, then simply turned back to his blocks, trying to create a tower taller than himself.

Don't forget to check out the other challengers!

40 comments:

  1. I find small children a bit creepy at the best of times, but this kid just completely freaked me out! Brilliant writing as always Annalisa! :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Kirsten :-) Some kids do appear to know far too much, don't they?

      Delete
  2. CREEPY! From the child's point of view it's even creepier. I want to know why he's not, "just a child." At the same time I feel like the woman with the clipboard - running away before he gets me...

    You can find me here;
    ClarabelleRant

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I think that woman's got the right idea :-)

      Delete
  3. Yes, this was very freaky! I love the way you didn't give too much detail, but just enough to have us wondering about what is going on with this child and why he is so terrifying.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I always meant to turn this into a short story, but past this first scene I was completely lost. I'm glad it freaked you out :-)

      Delete
  4. I love how creepy this is - what is it about children that make them extra scary?? Fantastic writing :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Have you seen that thing on Facebook/Twitter extra about freaky things kids have said to their parents, Rachel?

      Delete
  5. Not just a child, then - a human with psychic powers or an alien? This was excellent, Annalisa.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Confess, that woman simply forgot that she left the kettle on, didn't she? :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If that helps you sleep tonight, Michael ;-)

      Delete
  7. Ooh, interesting. So many possibilities as to what he is and what he can do. I hope he manages to build his tower.
    Tasha
    Tasha's Thinkings | Wittegen Press | FB3X (AC)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I suspect he can do whatever he wants to, Natasha :-)

      Delete
  8. I feel a horror story coming on! Some child.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I got more of a sci-fi vibe, Keith - all clean white rooms, white jumpsuits, peculiar headwear. Although, to be honest, I probably wouldn't do either genre justice!

      Delete
  9. This is so real and disturbing and an awesome beginning to a horror story. I would love to see where this character goes and explore his dark devious mind a bit further. Very good work Annalisa!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The reason I love this length of fiction so much is I don't have to have any of those answers - I just light the spark of the reader's imagination :-) Glad you liked it!

      Delete
  10. That was very creepy! Note to seld: If you want to write a horrot story, add a child. :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Chrys. Yes, a child can make things very creepy - Village of the Damned???

      Delete
  11. Hi Annalisa .. as Chrys said .. that was creepy ... and why was he putting blocks up .. and all the other questions that appear from your story ... cheers Hilary

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love leaving readers with questions :-)

      Delete
  12. Not sure what his ability is, but it must mean death for those who are on the receiving end.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The woman who ran away definitely thought so, Alex :-)

      Delete
  13. Very chilling. I felt that stare.

    ReplyDelete
  14. sounds like The Omen. You freaked me out.

    ReplyDelete
  15. This really was wonderfully creepy! There are so many questions attached to this scene...and children really can be freaky!

    ReplyDelete
  16. A world without little boys... (sometimes I'd want to sign up :)

    Well written - and thought provoking!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe just an afternoon without little boys, Mark. I'll get my slightly bigger boys to babysit yours :-)

      Delete
  17. Very creepy and intriguing! Great post today.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Oh oh! Well done with the creepiness.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Okay this really is so creepy and I wish you would write a longer story about it - I want to know what on earth is the deal with this kid! At first I felt sorry for him because he seemed like a monkey on display but then everything changed. What on earth?? I think this is my favorite of your A-Z pieces so far.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awesome. Thanks Julie. I'm really not sure I'd know what to do with a longer story though!

      Delete

Please comment - I love a good chat!