Friday, 10 April 2015

Insomnia #AtoZchallenge




This story has been removed because I am re-writing it into a longer story and don't want any publication-conflicting issues.



Don't forget to check out the other challengers!

51 comments:

  1. Mental health issues can come on gradually. I haven't had any experience with it myself yet, but I have to imagine that admitting it and getting help must be incredibly hard. If you don't do it early enough, it can be really dangerous. I hope he comes back, or she'll never sleep again, too. I really LOVE your pieces!

    You can find me here:
    ClarabelleRant

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    1. I didn't consider the reasons behind this story, but a mental health issue would certainly fit the category. I'm really glad you're enjoying them, and glad to have met you :-)

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  2. He probably went out clubbing and was, emmm, abducted by aliens on his way back home. :D

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    1. Although the first part, where he's just cleaning the kitchen, might be quite nice ;-)

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  4. A wonderful piece of descriptive and sensitive writing. Brilliant.

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  5. That became darker by the paragraph - very evocative.
    Tasha
    Tasha's Thinkings | Wittegen Press | FB3X (AC)

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    1. I like dark. I end up there quite a lot :-)

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  6. I agree with Natasha. That one became darker and darker. I wonder what happened to him.

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    1. To be honest, I didn't know where this one was heading when I started.

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  7. I also wonder what happened to this guy. Very sad.

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    1. I wonder too! My characters never tell me anything :-)

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  8. Oh dear. What happened? Such a sad little tale.

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    1. We'll probably all have different ideas on that one, Christine!

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  9. Oh man, that is sad. One of my coworkers was having insomnia so bad he couldn't drive or use power tools. He finally got over it.

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    1. That's serious stuff, Shell. It must be a living hell, not to be able to sleep.

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  10. I bet it was all an act and he's living it up in Las Vegas!

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  11. Oh, that's sad. Great story and tight writing!

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  12. I agree with the others. Great story and I really like your style.

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  13. Such a sad and creepy story. Bummer he wandered off. Maybe he's cleaning someone else's house now.

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  14. That gave me the shivers. Excellently told and so vivid I could feel the pain and exhaustion.

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  15. Holy cow, Annalisa! That's awesome! I especially liked the "catch the first batch of croissants." Very clever. This story seriously gave me the creeps - and I love that!!

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    1. Thanks Lexa. I really love creeping people out :-)

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  16. really enjoying your bits and pieces and teasers! gift of listening made me tear up. excellent work!

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  17. you could tell where this was going, but held out hope he wouldn't not come back. This is such excellent writing - nice flow

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    1. I'm not completely comfortable with twists in my stories, they seem contrived. I didn't fully know what would happen in this one though!

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  18. Intriguing. Now I have to read more!

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  19. Hi Annalisa - so well written .. gosh how very difficult .. and yet she was looking out for him .. I wonder about the N for next ... fascinating .. cheers Hilary

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  20. Sounds like something worse than insomnia. Very sad story.

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  21. I hope he's found safe and sound. I've got a lot more questions about how he ended up like this - it could definitely be a longer story.

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    1. I've got a few questions myself, Nick. The great thing about the vignette form is I don't need to have the answers :-)

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  22. Good writing, it got darker and darker as it developed. Part of a bigger story I think... Good luck with A to Z, its a good challenge.

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  23. This was amazing - I could smell the coffee, see him cleaning, hear you flipping pages in your book - it all came alive for me. Beautifully written.

    Sent with smiles, Jenny, Pearson Report
    2015 A to Z Challenge Ambassador
    @PearsonReport

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  24. Replies
    1. I suffer insomnia occasionally, mostly on the Saturday night before I have to work on a Sunday :-(

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  25. I love that post. So well written and interesting.

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    1. Thanks Sandra, and thanks for visiting my blog :-)

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  26. Wonderful description of a life falling apart - from insomnia to disappearing. I love how a character takes you on a brief journey, not necessarily the one the writer had planned at the beginning.

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